Prioritizing Relationships over Resources
By Terry Jackson | This article emphasizes that while resources are abundant and valuable, their effective application depends on relationships. Relationships are primary, and activities or resources should support these meaningful connections.
EMQ » April – May 2026 » Volume 62 Issue 2
Summary: This article emphasizes that while resources are abundant and valuable, their effective application depends on relationships. Relationships are primary, and activities or resources should support these meaningful connections.
By Terry Jackson
I learned about the significance of relationships from my own experience of living on the field. We raised our three daughters in Slovenia while assisting local churches to develop youth programs for evangelism and discipleship. We developed relationships with Slovenes through youth programs and church events. However, the impact of our family’s love for Slovenes was more enduring than our activities. When our oldest daughter left for college, I sat in one chair in our courtyard during her entire goodbye party, while friend after friend came by to share with me. Our friends had no agenda beyond celebrating with us. This created a lasting memory that our family cherishes to this day. Relationships are primary. Activities or resources should support these meaningful connections.
Resources are everywhere. They have merit. However, the sequence of administering the resources is vital. Having the right answer without knowing the question is not helpful and can be harmful. For example, many global workers struggle with raising the funds they need for their ministry. Many resources exist to assist in this process. However, while some people may donate funds to workers they don’t know, most sources of funding come from a relationship.
We tend to focus on resources because they are easier to measure than relationships. They are also easier to use to obtain funding. Resources show we are active. They help people, especially in the short-term.
We often do not focus on relationships for many reasons. Relationships take time. We have previous experiences of conflict, tension, and hurt in relationships. Perhaps we don’t know how to engage relationally. We might not truly believe God works from a relational perspective. Maybe we do not experience God’s loving relationship personally. Instead of engaging in relationships, we rely on simplistic resources.
We do need resources in member care. However, we must begin and end with relationships. The resources we use must support these relationships. As we delve into the tension between resources and relationships, we can benefit from considering some theological underpinnings that affect our perspectives on resources and relationships.
Sometimes we can treat God like a resource. We only see him as significant when he is producing something, like our salvation. One way to counter this is to focus on the Trinity. That our Triune God is in relationship as Father, Son, and Spirit should shape our view of who God is and the universe he created. If we could look through the layers of time and space into the very core of the universe, I do not think we would discover a divine will, natural law, or even a global mission. Instead, I think we would find God existing in eternal relationship with himself.[i] The essence of this Triune relationship, God is love. God is three persons loving one another for eternity.[ii] God’s love for us flows from the love the Father, Son, and Spirit have for one another. Our love for others flows from this Triune love. We are united with Christ, which unites us to the relational love of the Trinity that can then overflow in love to the world. In John 14, Jesus ties our human relationships to his relationship with the Father. As Jesus loves his Father, so his disciples should love one another.[iii]
As a community with this theological foundation, we can engage with God in his mission for the world. It is also our foundation for member care.
Effective member care prioritizes relationships. The easiest way for me to evaluate how I am doing in this endeavor is to simply ask myself, “Am I trying to fix this person?” or “Do I see this person more as a project or child of God?” Honest answers to these questions will tell me if I am prioritizing the relationship. I recently had a conversation with a couple who have been on the field for about five years. They asked if all organizations were more concerned about them staying on the field than their own personal health. I realized their question arose from their experience of feeling treated like tools or things, instead of like people in relationship with other people.
I was grateful they felt safe to share their question and the broader issues the question revealed about them and their context. NationsOutreach claims that 71% of global workers leave the field for preventable reasons.[iv] Just focusing on preventable reasons for attrition will not keep global workers on the field. Caregivers and leaders must develop and maintain relationships with missionaries. As relationships are dynamic, we must check in regularly with each other to maintain the relationship.
Because member care resources are ubiquitous and easy to obtain, we need caregivers and leaders who are adept at matching the person in need with the correct resource. This integration requires relationships and experience. David has been serving in Southeast Asia for 14 years. I met him about seven years ago. His organization offers many resources and aids to maintaining his personal vitality. However, he shared that our conversations over the years have helped him view his life experiences from an outside perspective that aids his understanding of himself and his context. Our relationship has helped him make better use of his resources.
Time on the field is not a measure of effectiveness as a missionary. The competencies necessary for cross-cultural work are cultural flexibility, cosmopolitanism (low ethnocentrism), and people orientation.[v] Building these competencies is the primary factor in global worker effectiveness, not longevity. Missionaries may use resources to develop these competencies, but their ability to develop relationships is more important than the resources.
The costs of developing a relationship-first orientation include: time, money, travel, and, possibly, a change of priorities.
The following evaluative questions for caregivers and leaders may help identify our relational or resource priorities:
- Does the staff conference focus on information or connection?
- How often do I meet with my direct reports? How often do I meet them in person?
- What are the names and ages of their children? (People are more likely to trust you when they know you love who they love.)
- Do we discourage/encourage connections outside of our organization?
A relational focus in member care will ensure that people remain dignified humans instead of projects or objects to accomplish the missionary mandate. Matching the right resource with the right person calls for both relationship and wisdom. Resources are an important aid in caring for people, but they must never supersede personal care and concern for the individual.
[i] Skye Jethani, With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God (Thomas Nelson, 2011), chapter 6, Kindle.
[ii] Michael Reeves, Delighting in the Trinity (InterVarsity Press, 2012), Introduction, Kindle.
[iii] Donald Fairbairn, Life in the Trinity: An Introduction to Theology with the Help of the Church Fathers (InterVarsity Press, 2009), 27.
[iv]Nations Outreach Blog, February 3, 2025, https://nationsoutreach.org/blog/christian-missionary-statistics/.
[v] John Farquhar Plake, Missionary Expatriate Effectiveness: How Personality, Calling, and Learned Competencies Influence the Expatriate Transitions of Pentecostal Missionaries (Brill Academic, 2016), 303.
Terry Jackson ([email protected]) has spent his professional life in the church, on the mission field, and in member care. His primary gift is a shepherd, where he seeks to build relationships of trust and authenticity in a context of kindness and wisdom. Terry and his wife, Lori, appreciate hiking in the mountains, hospitality, and spending time with their three daughters and sons-in-law. Terry enjoys coffee tastings, reading broadly, and barbeque experimentation.
EMQ, Volume 62, Issue 2. Copyright © 2026 by Missio Nexus. All rights reserved. Not to be reproduced or copied in any form without written permission from Missio Nexus. Email: [email protected].
